Poo, poo, poo etc...

Me to steak is like a snake to a mongoose,
I'm at the farmers market snarfin' for fresh produce.
I'll get some sorrel and maybe some nice parmesan,
It's twice as pricey. Also twice as artisan.

Maybe some parma-ham. Maybe a green juice.
Maybe a red one. Blended with beetroot.
I'm at the picnic bench eating like Gregg Wallace,
screaming: "It cost eight quid but God this scotch egg's honest!"

A Polish beer stick and a pint of craft sour beer,
I'm looking round at all the fantastic food to be found here:
Small batch hummus! Spatchcock poussin!
Thrice-fried scratchings! Kakejiru and udon!

Think global, buy local. Most of this food's British
but I've spent enough to feed and clothe a third-world village.
I'm really pretty peckish. Hungry-eyes.
I'm about to get a quiche with some mung bean sides.


Mung bean sides.
I ordered quiche with some beans on the side,
I've got mung bean sides.
These mung beans are really quite nice.


And now I'm making bastardized bruschetta,
forget the mozarella - the feta is better.
They were outta ciabatta so I'm making do with sourdough.
Parmeggiano Reggiano! Blap! Antipasto.

And I'm not anti-pesto so I'm blitzing up the basil leaves,
Pine-nuts and panoplies of random cheese.
After that – heat up the griddle pan,
toast the bread, clove of garlic – cutting out the middle man.

Just rub it straight on there! Easy! Fresh!
Now lime time -both the juice and the zest
Then come tommies – vine ripened for pete's sake.
The recipe says cherry tom's - I'm using a beefsteak.

Two side dishes and they're both scrummy.
One's just mungs tossed up with honey.
The other's served with quinoa and some yummy chives.
now I'm serving up bruschetta with my mung bean sides!


Mung bean sides.
I made bruschetta with beans on the side.
I made mung bean sides.
It's pretty good I prefer Eggy-Rice.

(Everybody's talking 'bout Eggy-Rice!
Eggy-Rice? It's really nice!
Everybody's talking 'bout Eggy-Rice!
Delicious Eggy-Rice!)


Be I in Wetherspoons or Chandos or the ICA,
I always opt for something hoppy like an IPA.
Why be fey? I like a lager sometimes too.
Sometimes two! Give me a pint of sunshine jus!

Some fun-time brew! And when I feel a bit patchouli,
dying for something fruity. Get me a nice Frulli!
Yeah raspberry! Big bad glass for Adz please,
you need it wider so the fine flavours inside can breathe.

Some wine? Let's see. Gimme a look atcha list.
Actually I'll just have cider cos I'm getting quite pissed.
Alright fine. I'll have a large Sauvignon Blanc.
Hey waiter, this is great, oh yeah I'm lovin' your plonk!

Oh! What would you pair this with?
Why would you banquet on hare and squid.
Why would you want to munch a sunbeam
when you could get some cream and serveit with mung beans


Mung bean sides.
Some creamy mungs with some squid on the side.
You'll serve
mung bean sides.
And now there's cream and there's squid and there's chive.
You've made
cream-filled chives.
Delicious hare and a squid with the chives.
It's all
mung bean sides.
You're cooking creamy leeks in the Bible.
It's
mung bean sides.
The main dish is some Eggy-Rice.
The side's
mung bean sides.
Delicious treat for you and your fly.
It's called
mung bean sides.
Eat 'em quick before they subside.
They're just
mung bean sides.
Eat em quick else you will not survive.

Mung bean sides X4


(Salad-Soup! Salad-Soup!
Everybody's talkin' 'bout Salad-Soup!
Better than egg? What a scoop!
It's delicious Salad-Soup!)